Golly, I am lazy to go to school. Seriously, although we supposedly have lessons. I mean, our exams are just over and yet we still have lessons to prepare ourselves for the war next year. How bothersome! Soldiers need rest after a battle!

Well, complaining is not gonna do any good anyway. Plus, it ain't as if my results were amazing. Oh well, Monij has been away with Kenji all the way in Malaysia. Was alone again the past few days.

Pretty much alright, except for the fact that some unexpected things happened. Not to me, but to one of the close people to me. It was something intolerable, over-rated, over-blown. I am not a sexist or a girly girl.

In fact, I have been around boys my entire life. I have been a down-right tomboy with no affection towards guys in the ways girls normally do. There was never a time when I thought of getting away from guys because I'm oh-so-afraid of the opposite gender or wish to be together with any, cause I have been like a guy myself.

Point is, although I have been a tomboy, I do realise that I am a girl and that nothing will ever be changed, nor do I want to change it. I realise that some of the things that guys are deeply in love with are just so over-rated for me. I also realise that I can never understand the way some males think. The way they do the things they do, the way they want things. They are just unreasonable.

All and all, females will always be hurt at the end of the day. Why must it be so? Well, sometimes, I do feel that I should have the ability to change my gender in order to save the women clan. Seriously, I feel hopeless sometimes. Hopeless that I am unable to do anything, no matter how much I want. No matter how much I wish I could.

Actually, changing my gender may not be much of a help too. It may make me feel even worse, too. I just wish that I have the power to do something. Do something for one so dear to me. For anyone I place close to my heart.

Of course, if you truly mean it, things don't have to be shown obviously in actions. Your thoughts and feelings should be able to penetrate your bones and skins and the physical distance. That is what I am trying to do right now. Trying to with my very best. I do not know if anyone will ever understand this. It was something really unacceptable.

I am happy with my life right now because although not many people undestand me, at least some are able to understand some parts. And thus, although divided by many, bits and pieces of me are sewed together when these people come together.

The same thing goes to this friend of mine, I pressume. Although I may not be 100% correct, but being with her for a long time, I am positive that it is at least 95% true. Alas, a piece of her is gone. Gone with the passing time, unrewindable.

It was a piece placed onto me, only much later. When everything was too late. First thing that came to my mind was to scold her. But again, nothing's gonna change and it'll only make things worse. I want things to get better. At least for the feelings to be better. I hope it will be healed.

I never imagined that such a day will ever come. I always knew that she was strong, that she would never make any wrong decisions. Although, of course, she had, she will definitely correct her mistakes, you know.

In this case, things aren't so simple no more. As much as it seems simple, deep in her she is not the same. There's a cut. No matter how thin and tiny. No matter how fine and barely visible it may be. It hurts me to see.

Anyway, I'm so lazy!!! Sigh, hope tomorrow will be a fine day! And ALL THE BEST TO ALL O LEVEL STUDENTS!! Tomorrow is the start of their battle! :) I'm nervous for them! ^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHYONE!!!!!!!!!
Do get a boyfriend soon :P But NEVER forget me! XP I'll kill you IF you EVER do!

I would want to live longer...